Fear That's Scary Good
A sweet friend gave me tickets to a ballet last weekend called “Vampire’s Ball.” Although I’m not into the current craze of vampire-genre books and movies, I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. The dancing was fun, exciting and just a little bit scary. Good scary. The dark costumes and set designs were the perfect blend of elegant artistry with a dash of the spooktacular. In one scene, dark drapery panels hung from the ceiling, gathered in the middle, where every so often what looked like a disembodied skull would peek out with ghoulish eyes and stare at the audience. The effect was startling yet so intriguing, I forgot to be scared, wondering how they did it. Then the curtains rose and revealed dancers seated on chairs, wearing the ghostly masks. I was fascinated to see the stage secrets. A little fear mixed with wonder is a good thing.
It’s kind of like stepping out with God. Realizing that every day is a dance of uncertainty, trepidation, daring and exhilaration. When the future seems uncertain and filled with frightening goblins that make me cower in fear. When ghosts of regret appear to taunt me saying that I can never change. That I'll always say things I wish I could take back. That I can't move past small slights without retaliating. I remember that every day is a new opening night. That the curtain could rise on new opportunities. On another chance to be gracious and unselfish. On a future that might be scary but good. So I have fear mingled with anticipation. Fear alongside trust that it’s all in his plan for me. Fear laced with the excitement of something new. When fear of the unknown tries to trip me up, I remember this promise that I am never out of his sight. "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
I have a pair of ballet slippers hanging from my dresser that I bought at a vintage shop. Even though I’ve never been a dancer, I like to look at the ballet shoes. They’re worn from use, but I think they’re pretty. They speak to me of hard work, courage, strength and determination. And a lot of grace. I’d like to have the effortless grace of a ballerina, dancing through the scenes of life. Especially when it’s going to be a little scary but so worth it. Scary good.