Trusting Your Heart to the One Who Knows It

Doorway to F. Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald's 1920s apartment in Paris.

I love a heartwarming front door that's adorned to welcome the season. 

But since it's still summer for a while in Florida {at least until Christmas}, my heart just isn't in it to hang an autumn wreath on my door yet. So I decided to go green.

I've been admiring boxwood wreaths since they look so fresh and elegant, but when I bought one and hung it on my door, it didn't look nearly as fabulous as I thought. 

I somehow forgot the fact that my door is also green so having a green wreath against a green-painted door just looked like my house was festooned in greenery {although very eco-friendly}.

But a few weeks later I noticed the leaves on my wreath were speckled with black mold. I’m not sure why I was so surprised since I ignored the recommendations to keep it inside, safe from heat and humidity. 

So when my ten-year-old nephew asked me if he could do chores for cash, I told him if he scrubbed my wreath free of the mold, I’d pay him $20. 

His eyes lit up and he started to scrub. Twenty minutes later he told me he didn’t think he would be able to remove all of it. Even though I joined him in the scrubbing effort, it was an impossible task. I had to throw away the wreath. 

{But being the good-hearted auntie that I am, I still paid my nephew for his effort.}

Last week, I bought my second boxwood wreath.

Except this time I’m going to take care of it and protect it a little better than I did the first one. I think it's worth it.

A friend and I were talking recently about guarding our hearts. We wondered exactly what it is our hearts need. We wondered how we can unselfishly give others what their hearts need. We wondered how we can know how to love our own hearts and love another's heart too. 

I think God can help us figure that out. Because I've been astonished how many times God knew just what my heart desperately needed and I've been wonderstruck that what my heart desires is important to him.

I've been reading a lot lately about how much our hearts matter to God. In scripture, God gives us a lot of words about our hearts. How to keep our hearts, what to fill our hearts with, who to set our hearts on. 

For most of my life, I thought I wanted my heart to be filled with all of life’s good things. Happiness and enjoyment, satisfaction and contentment, and peace and hope.

But I also wanted to keep my heart safe from life’s stings. I didn’t want my heart to feel disappointment or pain or fear, so I tried to build a fortress around it. 

I closed the door to my heart.

But this was a numbing way to live. I realized I couldn’t have it both ways. 

I couldn’t keep my heart closed off to what I wanted to avoid and still keep it open to receive life's delights. So I tried telling my heart some half-truths. 

I told my heart that I didn’t care that I wasn’t married because I preferred solitude over constant company. 

I told my heart that I liked staying safely at home so I didn't have to worry about traveling to new places. 

I told my heart that I was content with my life so I didn't need new adventures or have to take any risks.

So my barricaded heart and I settled down to years of status quo living. 

Until God started calling my name. {Not out loud, of course.} I wasn’t sure I heard him at first. Surely he wasn't talking to me? It seemed everywhere I turned the same questions appeared.

Did I want to experience God differently? 
Did I want to take some risks and be a part of what God wanted to show me? 
Did I want to trust God with my life instead of trying to control every event and outcome?

It took some time for me to answer. But God didn’t rush me. He patiently pursued me. 

I was used to reminding myself not to get my hopes up or not to delight in a new adventure because I was sure something would go wrong and I’d be disappointed later. 

But every so often, my fears would be unfounded.

When I traveled to Paris, I was able to cope with a few minor mishaps and still enjoy the adventure. 

When another hopeful relationship fizzled, I realized that I lived through that disappointment just fine and it inspired me to take a step of faith that I wouldn’t have taken without the experience.

When I started writing from a deeper place in my heart that I felt God nudging me toward, I found that I connected more because I let myself be known more. 

It started dawning on me that I could risk opening the door to my heart because I could trust God with my heart. 

That didn’t mean there wouldn’t be any pain or fear or disappointment. 

But with all of his strength and all of his power at work within me, he promised that I would have the courage to face it. 

When I give all of my heart to God, only then can I understand what it is that my heart truly desires. 

Our hearts – God’s and mine – will be yearning for the same things and I will at last, want what he wants.

That's why I hope with all of my heart, I love with all of my heart, and I believe with all of my heart. 

So I’ve had a change of heart.

My new boxwood wreath is hanging inside my house, against my white-framed mirror, over my mantel.  

{It didn't look all that great on my front door anyway.}

I intend to take care of it. Especially now that I’ve spent far more than I originally intended by purchasing two wreaths and paying my nephew’s wreath-cleaning bill. 

But I take heart.

Because I'm trusting that all that's fresh, vibrant, hopeful and beautiful find their way to my open heart.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord. Ps. 31:24

I'm linking up with my friends at Holley Gerth's place at Coffee for Your Heart and the Saturday Soiree Blog Party with Sarah Ann at Faith Along the Way. Click the images for more encouragement!