Tearing Off a New Page


It wasn’t until this third week of January that I realized I have six calendars for 2018.

Five of them are at my office, and since I work in a cubicle it seems everywhere I turn I meet a calendar.

It's a little hard to find space to display them all.

I have a weekly Paris-themed planner for keeping track of meetings, a flip calendar announcing I'll find 52 Weeks of Book Joy within its pages, and three calendars with travel art to inspire journeys around the world.



And there's the tiny three-inches-tall calendar I bought in Rome with images of the Sistine Chapel, all written in Italian, of course.

You might think if I have six calendars, I might be counting down the days to an amazing vacation or an exciting new travel adventure.

Or maybe a monumental event is awaiting me in 2018.

But that's not the case.

The days of this still-young year of 2018 are wide open with nothing penciled in yet on its crispy clean pages.


But even though my calendar is empty at the moment, my life is full.

I'm revamping my status quo and making modifications to stale routines. I'm remapping old trains of thought and breaking up tired and worn out formulas.

A new year seems the right time to turn the page, where there are hundreds of questions to answer, vast territories to explore, and new thoughts to consider.

I always knew that life is a juxtaposition of uncertainty and confidence, peace and turbulence, and hope and skepticism, but now I’m experiencing it.

And it’s magnificent and terrifying. Delightful and distressing. Enjoyable and uncomfortable.


I've spent this week purging my old journals.

I felt a little regretful, tearing them up them after all the time I put into writing them over the past six years. Writing on those pages gave me joy and brought clarity to confusion, but I don't want journal entries from the past influencing my future.

I saved a few pages, here and there, but as I read, I realized those pages didn't accurately reflect my life. My insecurities were spilled all over those pages, along with my too-deeply felt emotions, but in reality, I lived somewhere in the balance of those two extremes, right in the middle of real life.

I may have written about the angst of my days, weeks and years, but the truth is I went to work every day, I went on trips to Italy and Paris, I wrote my blog, I read books and I spent a lot of time with my family, enjoying my niece and nephew.


So as I tore out page after page, the time felt right to purge them.

My regret receded and my heart lifted.

Shredding those pages didn't erase any of the circumstances that led me to write about them but I felt as if the emotions of those pages were no longer weighing on me. I felt stronger, lighter and freer.

I know that ultimately all of our days are planned by God before we're even born. We move from one season to the next, year after year, growing in maturity as we live out our lives and pursue his purposes for us.

And isn't that the greatest adventure story for our days?

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.  - Psalms 90:12, 14 {NIV}



So although my calendars are unmarked and blank so far, I'm opening new pages in 2018.

There's a potential of hosting local adventures in my hometown in partnership with my Culture with Travel connections, the site where I contribute monthly food posts.

{Click here to read my latest post on Culture with Travel about my visit to a former ice plant in Florida turned vintage bar and restaurant!}

There’s an opportunity to contribute sports articles to a community newspaper, highlighting the accomplishments of young athletes.

And there are rekindled friendships and relationships filled with possibilities.


I guess being surrounded by calendars in my office with all of the days of 2018 in plain view has its good points.

Holidays are clearly marked.
I have the weekend always in sight to begin the countdown to Friday.
I know when it's time to turn the clocks back {or ahead}.

And calendars sometimes have the prettiest art and loveliest photographs, don’t they?

I always think I’m going to keep the pages when the year is over, but I usually don’t.

Maybe this year I will.



I'm joining my friends at Holley Gerth's place for Coffee for your Heart.



Comments

  1. This year, more than ever, I find myself reflecting on the events of the past year and looking forward to the plans of the upcoming year. May we learn to lean into the Master Planner and trust him as we follow him into this next adventure! Thanks for your reflections. I enjoyed reading them! I'm the mother of two little ones, and I love to travel, but I'm sidelined for this season. It was fun reading about your pursuits!

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    1. Thanks for stopping by Stacey! I can imagine how little ones can impact your travel schedule but maybe soon you'll be able to include them as you travel, which will put an entirely new spin on your adventures!

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  2. I find myself counting down to some unknown event all the time! I love that you appreciate the beauty of calendars! I feel like I can never have enough of them around! Especially when they are as pretty as yours are! I never thought about it until this post, but they do seem to hold promise of a beautiful future, whether they are filled in yet or not!

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    1. Brittany,
      Fortunately for me, you like calendars! :) I'm glad we can both count down to the weekend with my plethora of calendars in our office space! xo

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  3. Oh this here is so intriguing, motivating, Valerie -->'I'm revamping my status quo and making modifications to stale routines. I'm remapping old trains of thought and breaking up tired and worn out formulas.'

    Love that!

    I have over a decade's worth of journals. I'm not sure what to do with them. I never re-read, I wouldn't consider them a legacy. You've given me cause for pause, friend ...

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    1. Linda,
      Re-reading mine sealed the decision to purge them! I cringed sometimes so I thought that was a sure sign to move on and away from the past and start fresh with a new journal and a new train of thought! xo

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  4. Such a great post. And beautiful calendars. Funny you mention destroying old journals, I've been cleaning out my at-home office and thought to myself, "I need a bigger bin for my journals." Hmm. Maybe it's time for a bonfire. Thanks Valerie!

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    1. Susan,
      That is a conundrum of considering a bigger bin for your journals to keep them or not -- especially if you're moving -- that's when I'm motivated to really purge when I have to pack and unpack! xo

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  5. You are so brave to purge your journals, Valerie. I love how you describe pursuing God's purpose for our lives as "the greatest adventure story for our days." I love your unique calendars, too. Also your interesting account of the history of the ice plant. The food you ate looks yummy! :) Thank you for inspiring me to revamp and remap! Love and hugs to you!

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    1. Hi Trudy,
      I think it was the wisest course of action to purge them! :) I'm so glad you hopped over to see the old ice plant restaurant in my travel post - it was a fascinating place! But I started a new journal so we'll see if I manage to keep it around or not, but it feels quite nice to have a clean slate -- both with calendars and journals! xoxo

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  6. You certainly have some beautiful calendars, Valerie! I don't think I could bring myself to get rid of my old journals but there is definitely wisdom in knowing when things from the past are holding us back and it's time to let them go and step into the new adventures God has for us.

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    1. Hi Lesley,
      I agree with releasing anything that holds us back -- and noticing what things might be -- to step into what's in our future! xo

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  7. It sounds like you'll have a very fulfilling year ahead, Valerie! I was late getting a calendar this year (and I only have one) but it's already filling up too. But I do love those empty spaces. Those are some of my favorite days.

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    1. Thanks so much for popping over here, Lisa, it's always good to see you here!

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  8. I know what you mean, Valerie...I always think I will save pretty calendar photo pages, but it seems I never do! I am so excited for all of your amazing opportunities for this new year!! I know you will shine in every, single one of them! Reading of your letting go of the past journal pages hit a raw nerve, because I need to do the same. It hurts to release them, but, at the same time, as you said, it is so liberating. Sometimes, going back and re-reading them makes me melancholy...if it is a happy event I was writing about, it makes me long for those moments, and if it was a difficult time, it can conjure memories that are hard to relive. So, I think you are absolutely right by turning them loose, in order to fully live in what is "now". I can't wait to read of your amazing adventures this year, sweet friend, and I know God has many special surprises to throw into your days and moments! Praying daily for you and sending love and hugs to you. :)

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    1. Cheryl,
      I can relate about re-reading journals and feeling sad, either way! As I read them and felt uncomfortable, I wondered why I was keeping them and that was a good gauge to let them go. Thank you so much for your prayers and know that I'm keeping you and your family in mine too! xo

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  9. Dear Valerie,
    I have a "thing" for pretty calendars also, but I must confess that I do actually save them! I cut out some of the prettiest photos and frame them, alternating the artwork for the seasons! But just this year I looked at my stack and thought that it's time to purge some of them, so your post is so timely! I really do try to keep a handle on letting clutter pile up--but the emotional clutter? Well, I'm so thankful that God keeps trying to clear out those areas in my life too. Just when I think I have cleared it all away, He finds another buried topic that needs cleaned out! Thank you for your encouragement to let Him clean the slate! And, I loved your article on The Ice Plant. Once again you gave me such a fun armchair travel experience! I'm praying that the Lord fills your New Year with Adventures planned just for you! Love & Hugs! Xo

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    1. Hi Bettie,
      I love it that you use your calendar pages as art and they inspire you! Purging is always good in some areas, though, isn't it?! And I hear you about emotional clutter -- I've got plenty of that and like you, I'm so glad God shows me what needs to go. Thanks so much for reading my post on the ice plant -- I'm so grateful for your encouragement! xoxo

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  10. Valerie, for as much as I love purging, I've never thought to go through my o ld journals. The pages of mine hold much angst, but also prayers to the Lord. Some of mine hold stories of my life, like my hubs' and my courtship. I need to think about the idea of dismantling them and throwing some away. I am sure you're right though. Some of those books are not a legacy worth passing down. :)

    I love that you have so many calendars. They are lovely. And the one in Italian? How fun!

    I'm so glad I stopped over here. Your post made me smile. And think. :)

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    1. Hi Jeanne,
      Thanks so much for visiting! I know what you mean about journal pages with prayers -- mine had those too, but I felt like maybe my heart could hold them, instead of paper. Some journal entries are worth keeping, like those with adventures with my niece and nephew, that one day I'd like to give to them! I'm going to make your blog a regular stop of mine from now on! :)

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  11. Hi Valerie- I love this and laughed to myself because this year I got four calendars! I couldn’t decide because they were all so pretty. I ended up getting them all! I am excited for all your new opportunities!! I love to journal and think it would be so hard to let them go. How brave and wonderful to trust God in this way! Inspiring! looking forward to reading your blog about the restaurant- You have such adventures and capture them so beautifully with your words and pictures! So happy to visit you and be here tonight! with much love and hugs

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    1. Hi Susie,
      It made my day to see you over at your blog this week since I've missed your lovely words and thoughts! And I just love it that you have four calendars, as always, I think we're kindreds and soul sisters! xoxo

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  12. I'm inspired by the gentleness and creativity of those calendar photos you have shared here Valerie! And your article in Culture with Travel has inspired me to add the Ice Plant on our trip to Florida and Georgia this April (my two daughters and I are traveling this time!). You truly make the world a bigger place for me, even when your travels have you discovering learnings in places right where you are planted--at home. I've thrown out many past journals but the act of writing in them is never regretted as journaling helps to clarify, and discover solutions even when struggles are jotted down on pages doesn't it? Look forward reading more of what 2018 open calendars bring you!

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    1. Hi Lynn,
      Oh you should make a stop at the Ice Plant on your return here this spring! It's so unique and the food is delicious, but I was sorry I didn't have time to tour the distillery, though when I was there. I heartily agree that the act of writing my thoughts in my journal is a help, I just need to journal a little differently, I think! I've already started a new one . . . :) xo

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  13. Glad I'm not the only one with too many calendars, assuming I will keep the pictures! It's always a nice thought. A new fresh calendar is a sign to me that lots can happen and it gets me excited! Happy New Year!

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    1. Sarah,
      Happy new year too! I love that -- a new calendar is a sign of new things to come! xo

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  14. Entering the new year is definitely the time for purging! Six calendars sounded quite a lot to me but once I saw the photos of all of those, I totally understood you. They have such beautiful photos in them! I pray that God will show you great things in this year as you open up your schedule for Him. God bless you, friend!

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    1. Hi Ronja,
      Haha - -I don't know if anyone really needs six calendars! I appreciate your prayers and am praying those in return for you, especially as you set out in your professional career! xoxo

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  15. Oh my word I am loving that little weekly flip calendar...! Where did you find it? And I have to say I spent some time purging my journals a few years back when I did a bible study about idols by Kelly Minter.... It was seriously freeing to let go of what I wrote about certain situations and change the script so to speak because I realized I was making them my idols in a way and did I really want to run to the lies my feelings tempted me to write or the truth in God's word? Truth won out I'm glad to say. God bless you as you greet the new year and the new possibilities. Miss you and hope to catch up via email soon!! ♥♥♥

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    1. Heather,
      Isn't that weekly reading calendar cute? It's from a calendar kiosk in the mall. You too did a purging of the journals? After the deed was done, I never imagined how free I'd feel of the emotions that weighed those words down! Hope your new year is starting off well (I see you're quite busy!) but yes, we have to exchange emails soon! xo

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