What Are Your Assets?

With rates at historic lows, I’ve decided to refinance my townhome to a lower interest rate. On a conference call with a loan processor and a bank representative, they asked me all sorts of personal and income information. It felt a little invasive. I wondered why they couldn’t just look it up since I’m refinancing with the same bank. Nevertheless, they proceeded to ask me questions they clearly already had the answers to. Credit score. Employment verification. Then they asked me, “What are your assets?” Hmmm. Well, I have a savings account. Two, in fact. A 401k account I never look at since I can’t do anything with the money anyway until I retire. Hmmm. Not much, I jokingly tell them. But what I really wanted to say was that I had fine investments. They just happen to be in beauty products.

If they could only see that I have a treasury of MAC eyeshadows in every color combination in the rainbow. I have Trish McEvoy’s newest planner in a spiffy pink quilted case, with a specially fitted silver bag for foundation and lipstick. And my newest acquisition straight from Paris, a sweet little Dior touch-up kit for my purse. This particular ensemble is endowed with a secret resource of three lip glosses under the tiny Dior door. What value! I wonder if they would be interested to know that I do plan to make an addition to my makeup portfolio with a Chanel red lipstick just as soon as I raise enough capital. At $34 for the shade of Coromandel, I can wear a color named for the famous lacquered screens that graced Coco's Rue Cambon apartment in Paris. I must liquidate some funds, though, if I want it before the fiscal year ends.

I wanted to tell them that I have accumulated all the best hair products on the market. I have giant-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner that promise a great return on my investment to make me look like a fashionista on the catwalk. As an extra bonus, these top-notch products also make my hair smell like blueberries. I have an excellent repository of hair paste to separate my hair into pieces for an edgy style, oil from Morrocco to make my hair super-shiny, and hairspray that is made from fresh kiwis. I want them to know I spent my research and development funds carefully before selecting this light, brushable spray that does not leave hair feeling like it’s glued. This value on the balance sheet is important.

I wish they could see my collection of perfume, like liquid silver and gold in the form of flowers from Vera Wang and blackberry and vanilla from Trish McEvoy. However, for this division of my portfolio I look for other investors. I am prudent with my funds by asking for the perfume for holidays and birthdays. I even assist my investors by forwarding the necessary financial information from the discount house of amazon.com to help them purchase the items at a reduction. Whatever I choose to call them -- assets, strong points, blessings, resources -- I actually do have lots of them.

So I’d like to tell the finance gurus that although I might not have a portfolio of high-yielding investments, I do indeed have assets. But maybe they're more of the intangible sort. I have an unending supply of grace. I know where to find overflowing peace. I can opt for unlimited joy. And all free for the asking. From God who generously lavishes these blessings on those who ask. And I think that might be the most valuable investment I can make.


  1. Fun article! I appreciate your 'investments & assets' and agree on the intangible ones!!! Love the pictures!

  2. Those silly bank people! What are they thinking?!

  3. I definitely agree -- the real assets are the ones we can't measure at all. And I love your take on assets! I am inspired to take another look at my portfolio and make sure its up to par :)

    1. Life is more than dollars and cents, right?!


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